you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
