When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Ketchup is God's man juice
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
