Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
