he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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