All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I want her autograph on my taint
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
