sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
