they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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