I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
