And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
