Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I would ride that face into the sunset
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
