2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
