If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
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Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
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We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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