Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
no you cant smoke seaweed
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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