Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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