And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
