I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
