So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
