wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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