...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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