Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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