I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
