youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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