Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
