the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
