I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
high people should be assigned attendants
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
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They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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