he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I deserve this hangover.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
