I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The adults are the big ones right?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
