I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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