I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
