I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
