im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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