BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize