Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
