I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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