I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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