is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
