another moral hangover. fuck.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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