these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
