You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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