There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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