What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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