So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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