I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
