I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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