well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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