what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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