She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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