So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
