Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
