I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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