True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize