We're like a lot better than the average bears
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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