Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think your dad took our porno
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
