Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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