you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
