I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
