hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
