why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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