Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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