SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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