Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
