do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
