Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
