I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just forgot I was standing up.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
