I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
