I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
